The Cold Weather Effect

Nothing makes me want to settle down like a cold front. All I wanna do is watch movies, snuggle on the couch, drink spiked apple cider, and wrap up in soft blankets. As soon as I feel the snap, a desperate feeling comes over me. I don't want to be alone, left to fend for myself when the yard frosts over. I'm not the only one. No one wants to be boxed in. Something about leaving the windows open heightens my senses. I'm aware of the freedom, and the limitations, all around me. Stay inside or freeze in the cold. I'm libel to make a mistake for the sake of taking a risk. I'm in love with being defiant.

Lesson #36: Break all the rules.

Toys

"Today may be the beginning of the end... or the end of the beginning... or the beginning of the beguine."

-Leslie Zevo

I'm not gonna grow up. The future gives me hives. I'm not making a move till I feel like it. It's not so wrong to be immature. I like cartoons, and so what if my mom still helps me with my laundry. I'm grown up enough. I prefer to go on playing pretend. If it counts, most days I don't feel very adult, but there are things... I have an electric bill in my name. I say things like, "Let's take a look at those metrics." I'm allowed to babysit. I feed my own dog, and I technically lived alone before I knew you. Being responsible freaks me out. At some point I wonder what else there is. I am constantly on the hunt, searching for something to define the inbetween. I'm Goldilocks.

Lesson #35: Keep Pace

Voodoo

Her skin is white cloth,
and she's all sewn apart
and she has many colored pins
sticking out of her heart.

She has many different zombies
who are deeply in her trance.
She even has a zombie
who was originally from France.

But she knows she has a curse on her,
a curse she cannot win.
For if someone gets
too close to her,

the pins stick farther in.

-Tim Burton

Lesson #34: Weird is the new cool.

Empty

"To me nothing - the negative, the empty - is exceedingly powerful."
-Alan Watts

Silence can be a complicated action. I'm always trying to quiet my over active imagination. Sometimes I wish I was a little less full.  I'm just trying to free up space. If I put some of it here, maybe there will be more room. I just want to sleep at night, wake up tomorrow, and move on. Take a walk to clear my head. An empty place, to store my thoughts in, keep them safe, so I don't lose them. I just want to sleep tight, all tucked in, cool sheets with the fan on, close my eyes, and think of nothing. 

Lesson #33: Clear up space.  

I should've married a Kennedy.

"There is no royal road to anything, one thing at a time, all things in succession. That which grows fast, withers as rapidly. That which grows slowly, endures."

-J.G. Holland

If I were famous, I'd be a royal. Years of Disney manipulation left me with a hole in my heart. The perfect world, just a conspiracy. I was forced to outgrow Barbie dream weddings. I don't hate my brainwashed state. I try to imagine this is my modern day fairy tale. I'd be lying if I said I had unwavering faith, there are mornings I wake up and realize, something is missing, we can't all be Sleeping  Beauty. I am nothing if not persistent. I am in pursuit of my own Barbie dream life. I'll kiss all the frogs, I'll stop cursing, and I'll learn the cupped hand wave.

Lesson #32: Avoid being jaded.