Tour Guide

"Tell me what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

-Mary Oliver

I have the ability to predict the future. My power comes and goes. At times I pray for answers, still no answer in sight. It's when I wish I didn't know that the answer is right in front of me. Typically I try to ignore it, I envision something different, I practice the ball in the hoop technique. Sometimes I wish I was blissfully ignorant. There are always plenty of options, plenty of lies to try to believe. What you think you know, can change in an instant. The truth is not always easy to swallow. Some times I swear I'm cursed. I keep finding myself in the same situation. No matter the circumstance, I seem to end up with the same result. I'd love to blame it on someone else, but the common denominator, is me. So maybe there's something to being a gypsy. What happens when you let your prediction be your guide? Where will I end up if I follow my instinct? From here I plan to follow blindly. Go wildly into complete oblivion. End up where my conscience takes me. Live my life, creating a new path.

Lesson #48: Trust your intuition

4 Christmases

You're not supposed to spend Christmas alone. I'm not stupid, I considered the consequences, I had the option to travel. I chose home. I should start by saying that I am traveling in early 2011. While this may sound like a lame excuse to stay home, I prefer to use my travel in the new year to visit the family I am missing over Christmas. You can judge me when your family moves to Lubbock and you have to drive 12 hours in the car over Thanksgiving. Thankfully, I was invited by 3 families to celebrate Christmas their way, and experience the holiday celebrating their traditions. Here's what I know so far... 1) Dinner is universal. Every family has their version of it. Whether it's roasted pheasants or fried turkey, we all bond over food. In my experience it is the thing for which all the other actions revolve. Sides however, are tradition. If you have a family tradition, there's a chance it involves some kind of side dish. 2) Family is subjective. This may sound silly, but as an outsider looking in, I never felt outside. It was as if the simple act of Christmas made us family. May I always remember to bring friends into the fold. 3) Traditions exist across the board. From what kind of food we eat, to what kind of wine we drink, to how we spend our day, no matter what it is, it can be considered tradition. When I was younger one of my uncles would dress up as Santa. All of the cousins sat squealing on the couch, while Aunt Helen would ring jingle bells to signal his arrival. Now we watch TV in our PJ's. Frankly it's all relative. Hiking, charades, cooking, watching TV, when you're with family anything can be tradition. 4) We believe. I could start with the beliefs I witnessed along the way, but I'd rather speak for myself. I believe my friends are good people. I believe that when you pray with others, good stuff happens. I believe in camaraderie. I believe in Santa. Whatever we believe, at some point it's a part of us.

I'd be remiss if I didn't thank the families that opened their homes to me. You made me laugh on a day that frankly, spent alone, would have really sucked. I dedicate this blog to you. Tonight I'm thankful. To Jen and Fernando, I hope our outdoor adventures never cease. To Lindsey, I will always be on your team. Chylin, I am the perpetual Ethel to your Lucy, and finally to my mom, whose bow making skills are a sight to behold. We may not always be in the same city on Christmas but you, and your families, will always be with me. I will never forget the year I had 4 Christmases

Lesson #47: No matter the circumstance, you are never alone.

A better blog...

"This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone."
- Taylor Caldwell

I am ready. I wrapped all my gifts. I made peace with the unsettling parts of the season. I embraced the cold air. I had a hard nights sleep. I read chapters ahead. I wrote in straight lines. I found my safe place. I called on others. I remembered my power to petition for happiness. I helped someone else.  I listened to advice. I sedated the Grinch. I prayed for Santa. I wrote my list. I stared at Christmas lights. I sipped egg nog. Turns out, family is all around us. We are, Christmas people. We are, give back people. We are, join us people. We are, dinner people. We are, the more the merrier people. We are, good friends to people. Sometimes, all we have to do is close our eyes. Sometimes all we have to do, is write a better blog. Sometimes all we need, is a Christmas vacation.

Lesson #46: Believe in Good

Pointless

"I've been trying to avoid the best parts of you."

Oh I give up on tyring to write this one. I can't think of anything good to say. Everytime I start I backspace. I don't have a lesson for you. I'm too worn out to find the bright side. Frankly, I'd rather it not be a holiday. I'm getting in bed tonight in the hopes that closing my eyes changes something. I'm praying, even though I've done a bad job of it lately. I'm asking for stuff, when I don't do anything in return to get it. I'm hoping that all those days as a nice person pay off. Tuesday feels a little bit hopeless.

Lesson #45: Some days are lessonless.

Hops

"May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead."
-Old Irish Toast

There's nothing like a pint with a friend. Every once in a while an IPA can save your life. I believe there's a secret in every hop, a story waiting to be told. There's time invested in every green glass bottle, there's ice to be broken over hefeweizen, there's laughter in every pecan porter, and a lesson to learn at the end of each glass. Life is about the toasts we make, the conversation over dinner, sips we take around the fire, yelling at the TV, shouting at the game. Somewhere deep inside we're all a little bit Irish. Sometimes it's as simple as a cold beer, a holiday lager, the hair of the dog. 

Lesson #44: Toast to the Moment         

I'd like you to meet my representative...

She is always impeccably dressed, she is put together, witty and intriguing. She thinks before she speaks, you'll never find her rattling off her feelings on a whim, and that permanent smile is meant to leave you wanting more. She is a subdued version of her client. She is a constant reminder of her worth. She considers herself a mirror image. She'll tell you she's not the only representative. Her client isn't always agreeable. She manages a rebellious nature. I don't always follow her lead. I'm not sure she doesn't make things more complicated. There are plenty of  reasons to completely ignore her. Where do you end up if you embrace complete ambivalence to the rules?

Lesson # 43: Manage a balance