Stronger Roots

"When the root is strong the fruit is sweet"

Bob Marley

I keep thinking about reversing plastic planter shapes. Breaking up fibers to loosen roots, digging into new soil, pouring water into soggy earth. It's almost that time where the sun comes out. All the nerves stretch out like pointed toes. Things have changed this winter. As uneventful and prominent as ever. I started thinking about Galveston. A place I can't stop going back. A foreign object in a place that was constant. If anything was planter shapped it was this. Lately the roots are splayed out everywhere. I keep going back to change. I'll try to deny it, but I like it when things are the same in one place. The still middle, in a spinning room. My same is different. I have to get used to another way. Sometimes I wish everyone stayed young, everything was just like high school on Pine Street. I have long since overcome my fear of change, but I didn't want to. Give me my way, my roots would be compact. I keep turning around, and seeing something else. I'm almost past all the things I once never wanted to face. I still suffer from my knee jerk reaction, but things keep happening and I out grow my pot. Sometimes I am a reluctant root.

Lesson #57: Break up the cluster



Nonsense

I'm not even gonna pretend, I really like love. I think it's grand. Hearts, and flowers, and those XOXO's people include at the end of a long heart-felt letters. I love small tokens of appreciation, and tiny mementos, OH and holding hands. I can totally get drunk with cutesy public displays of affection, but that's just me. As much as I love paper doilies, and artificial cinnamon candy, I still think love can be total B.S. Dumb love, it freaking makes me climb the stupid hamster wheel, day, after day, after day. Some times I'm totally over all this crap. Stupid pink shit, sugar highs, and fat asses. Thanks for nothing Hallmark. See you when I get a boyfriend.

Lesson #56: In my world, not everything makes sense.  

Can't have one without the other...

Fairy tales are awesome. I love Snow White, & Cinderella, dip me, kiss in the end, my prince will come. I love weddings, big fluffy white dresses, sleek decorations, centerpieces, table runners, and shiny objects. I'm a romantic comedy kind of girl. When I'm bored, I sometimes think Alex Humphreys might not be so nutty after all. 2 weeks ago I turned on my favorite radio morning show, and there she was, wearing her crazy on her sleeve. Alex has planned her wedding, she created a blog for those who wanted to follow, nothing out of the ordinary until you take a closer look. Alex doesn't have a fiance or a boyfriend, she's looking for one to marry her, in her pre-planned wedding. I should mention, that I in no way want to justify the actions of Alex, for fear of being shunned. However, the hopeless romantic in me says, so she's a little overzealous, she's just looking for love.

See for yourself: (http://joyfulcynicseekssimilar.blogspot.com/)

In girl theory this should work, Alex is dressing for the job she wants. All barbie dream weddings aside, this girl has vision and she's sprinting toward the goal line, she's freaking a majority of dudes out on the way, but who cares, at least she's trying. If you've ever seen The Secret it's all about envisioning what you want. Identify your goals, what they look like in real life. Alex just went a few steps too far. When polling my male office mates for perspective, most agreed Alex will be alone forever solely based on her fervor for a wedding. I get it, marriage is not first date conversation, ever. No one thinks it's romantic, in fact in real life its real scary. Turn the tables, and I'd disappear into the nothing, but there's got to be a happy medium. I believe in knowing what you want, and breaking the rules for what you feel in your heart. The problem with Alex's plan is that she's missing the point. The wedding is just the beginning, for Alex it seems the end. Where's the spontaneity in finding happiness, in not tying yourself down till you want to, in meeting people just for the hell of it. Her approach is all wrong but I can't help it, I'm silently cheering this girl on, it's not the stand in groom, it's my secret hope she finds what she's really looking for. Hey, it's not always easy to go it alone. The life of the single girl is sometimes strange. I'm not sure I won't stay this way for a while. The truth is that's the motivation, I just don't know. But so help me if you ask if I'm dating someone. When I am, you'll be the first to know.   

Lesson #55: Throw caution to the wind.