It's Decembarah...

Goodbye and Keep Cold

A poem by Robert Frost

This saying good-bye on the edge of the dark
And cold to an orchard so young in the bark
Reminds me of all that can happen to harm
An orchard away at the end of the farm
All winter, cut off by a hill from the house.
I don't want it girdled by rabbit and mouse,
I don't want it dreamily nibbled for browse
By deer, and I don't want it budded by grouse.
(If certain it wouldn't be idle to call
I'd summon grouse, rabbit, and deer to the wall
And warn them away with a stick for a gun.)
I don't want it stirred by the heat of the sun.
(We made it secure against being, I hope,
By setting it out on a northerly slope.)
No orchard's the worse for the wintriest storm;
But one thing about it, it mustn't get warm.
"How often already you've had to be told,
Keep cold, young orchard. Good-bye and keep cold.
Dread fifty above more than fifty below."
I have to be gone for a season or so.
My business awhile is with different trees,
Less carefully nourished, less fruitful than these,
And such as is done to their wood with an axe--
Maples and birches and tamaracks.
I wish I could promise to lie in the night
And think of an orchard's arboreal plight
When slowly (and nobody comes with a light)
Its heart sinks lower under the sod.
But something has to be left to God.

Lesson #41: Endorse Hibernation

Thankful

Sometimes I worry about the future. Life can be so unfamiliar. When I start to get scared, I think about my brother, and then I remember, he's the funniest kid I know. He will tell you what he likes, we have normal conversations, he isn't afraid to hug real tight, and he isn't always well behaved. When he was born we all went silent. Those seemed some of our darkest days.I didn't know anything about Downs Syndrome. I was sure people would avoid us, that I would say something wrong, that people would whisper retarded, and that he would be loud, and scary. What if his only emotion was happy go lucky? Joel was just an innocent baby, born with all our fears to bear. Before the age of one he put us at ease. At six he provides comedic relief. You would think that with all his accomplishments, my worries would cease to exist. These days, I think about his future. I selfishly feel glad that Josh knows what to do, that he reminds of us of the possibilities. Joel challenged all my stereotypical ideals. Turns out he isn't one dimensional. He can be a total rebel, his favorite music is the blues, he isn't always agreeable, and don't even think about making fun of him. After all the worry wears off, I think about my little brother, I can't imagine life without him. He is the glue that keeps us together, if he knows it, he'll never let on.

Lesson #40: Challenge all the stereotypes

Red Flag

I used to feel like everyone was staring. Every mistake, another red flag. No matter what you do, you're always wrong. I worried about my flaws on display, I started to wonder if I was still normal. Self talk made me nervous, what if my head is right? My mom said, "No one's paying attention." My dad says, "Everyone trips and falls." I started to believe that my stumbles were endearing. The things that happen are all in how you interpret them. I am a person that makes all kinds of mistakes. If you want get to know me, you should know some things. I have made a mountain out of a mole hill, I can be a bit of a rebel, I don't always agree with what you are saying, and I can't claim to be perfect in my delivery. For better or worse, I am a free spirit. That is not something I can't always predict. Sometimes I wish I could read to the ending, just to see how it all turns out. What I know for sure; I'll stake my life on making you laugh, I care from a place that is deep in my heart, I hear what you say, and I hold on to what you are saying. It's not always as beautiful as it sounds on paper. I can be unpredictable, flighty, messy, and ugly. All my life, I prayed God would make me more normal, so I could blend in and run out of stories. Stories make my life less boring. I don't know all the answers, not every story has a happy ending, I can only try to take something from each of my days.

Lesson #39: Don't fight the storyteller.

Acting Lady Like

This blog isn't all womens lib. I still think boys should open the door. I like tradition, and old fashioned rituals. Today I take out my own trash, (sometimes) and I don't feel too sad about that. All my friends are strong women, sometimes I wonder if I fit in. When I'm alone, I feel much weaker, but then I'll find strength somewhere deep in my head. I think it comes from other strong women. My mom is not a pushover. I think it's been there all along. Searcing for Sarah, turning over places in my brain, I find out I'm alot like my mom, and I like that.

Lesson #38: Know your own strength  

Hoedown for a Heifer

Some weekends are just perfect. I spent my Saturday, on the farm, outside of town, sitting in the grass. I'm convinced there's nothing better than enjoing the scenery. I'd rather play outside, while supporting a good cause. Give me the great outdoors everyday. When it gets cold, I'll light the campfire, and drink warm cider. I may be a city mouse, but I love to escape the bright lights. The wind in the trees, the rows on the farm, I wanna watch the seedlings grow. Everywhere is an adventure.

Lesson #37: Find your inner campfire