Jack and the Bean Stalk

I used to think Jack was marvelous until he cut down the bean stalk. Then I decided I wanted to grow up in a famous charcuterie. Thank goodness for plates of boudin and baguettes with rillettes. I think food is beautiful. Life in tiny green pods. I'm watching CNN eating micro greens. I know where my sunflower shoots came from. I bought them this morning from the guy who plucked them from the earth. One person, to another person. In another part of my brain Stan Grant is talking about nuclear power plants while they flash images of Japan under water. They're talking about active search and rescue, they're looking for a void, signs of life. It's odd and slightly upside down. Life in the shoots, life in the water. The more I watch, the less I understand. On the other side of the world, life in peril. It feels like there's not enough help to go around. 

Lesson #59: Save the world a little at a time

It's a wonderful life

I'm gonna fill every Saturday with sunshine and fresh air. I love the blue sky. I keep thinking about green pea shoots. I cleaned out my closet, and recycled my junk drawers. I lived today, every second. It was beautiful, wonderful, slightly perfect. I never do that. I am that girl. I like to predict the future, plan, expect, find disappointment in broken promises. This may sound miserable but I hated change. Why screw with my over organized timeline? One day something put a crack in my shell. Yesterday kicking and screaming out of the frame, the next, slow and steady, forward march. I lived today just like this. Everything smelling like roses, I didn't even hate the birds in my front yard that peep at 3:00am. I am the new night owl that wakes up early. Welcome to my lovely life, crunchy food, straight lines, a sweet dog, and a cold apartment that smells like a meyer lemon. I think life is a very great thing.   

Lesson #58: I hope this lasts forever.

Stronger Roots

"When the root is strong the fruit is sweet"

Bob Marley

I keep thinking about reversing plastic planter shapes. Breaking up fibers to loosen roots, digging into new soil, pouring water into soggy earth. It's almost that time where the sun comes out. All the nerves stretch out like pointed toes. Things have changed this winter. As uneventful and prominent as ever. I started thinking about Galveston. A place I can't stop going back. A foreign object in a place that was constant. If anything was planter shapped it was this. Lately the roots are splayed out everywhere. I keep going back to change. I'll try to deny it, but I like it when things are the same in one place. The still middle, in a spinning room. My same is different. I have to get used to another way. Sometimes I wish everyone stayed young, everything was just like high school on Pine Street. I have long since overcome my fear of change, but I didn't want to. Give me my way, my roots would be compact. I keep turning around, and seeing something else. I'm almost past all the things I once never wanted to face. I still suffer from my knee jerk reaction, but things keep happening and I out grow my pot. Sometimes I am a reluctant root.

Lesson #57: Break up the cluster



Nonsense

I'm not even gonna pretend, I really like love. I think it's grand. Hearts, and flowers, and those XOXO's people include at the end of a long heart-felt letters. I love small tokens of appreciation, and tiny mementos, OH and holding hands. I can totally get drunk with cutesy public displays of affection, but that's just me. As much as I love paper doilies, and artificial cinnamon candy, I still think love can be total B.S. Dumb love, it freaking makes me climb the stupid hamster wheel, day, after day, after day. Some times I'm totally over all this crap. Stupid pink shit, sugar highs, and fat asses. Thanks for nothing Hallmark. See you when I get a boyfriend.

Lesson #56: In my world, not everything makes sense.